I’ve never had business cards before!

I found some mail in my inbox this morning. Like, actual physical mail in my physical inbox. Weird!

An otherwise-blank envelope from a nondescript address in Kentucky? Containing.. cards? What is this?


These are, without at doubt, the finest business cards known to man. Just look at the smiling beefiness of my business card. Look at his bunly goodness and piquant mustard.

Look upon the Hot Dog, ye mighty, and despair.